let’s get reeaadyyyy to falllllllse equivocate!

It’s to­day.
The most cru­cial elec­tion of our life­times.
Let’s suit up and smash some fas­cists.

And take care to re­mem­ber who sup­port­ed the Manchuri­an Rapist­date. They don’t get to sup­port this guy and then go back to their gay, PoC, His­pan­ic, im­mi­grant, trans, hell *fe­male* friends and say “sor­ry, but those emails I did­n’t re­al­ly un­der­stand were more im­por­tant than your rights. Yolo.”

“Peo­ple aren’t en­thu­si­as­tic for Hillary” does­n’t mag­i­cal­ly be­come true be­cause you can’t un­der­stand life out­side your own body.

“I tru­ly be­lieve he’d be bet­ter for the coun­try.”

“Yeah. Rus­sia.”

“Sure, Trump has had some fail­ures but that’s life man. It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many you get knocked down with oth­er people’s mon­ey, lose it all, pay your­self out un­der the ta­ble and then de­clare it all a per­son­al tax loss even though you nev­er had any skin on the ta­ble.

“And also rape. Rape is good too. If you have time.”

“Yeah. But … Hillary … emails. And lies. Ly­ing emails.”

Fun byprod­uct of this elec­tion is that it’s *killing* Trump’s ho­tel busi­ness with peo­ple that can af­ford to stay in Trump ho­tels.

BUT it’s prim­ing a built-in mar­ket for Trump Dis­count Mo­tor­Lodges for the mouth­breathers should he ever de­cide to tap into that seg­ment.

“Sure Trump is the most emo­tion­al­ly un­bal­anced hate­ful dem­a­gogue since Mus­soli­ni but look bro coun­ter­point: Vagi­nas? Fright­en­ing if you think about it. Scary caves full of sin­is­ter mys­tery and one thing I have found out this elec­tion: *every woman has one*

“Fu­u­u­u­u­u­uck that.”

This is your can­di­date. Own it.

You don’t get to say you’re vot­ing on pol­i­cy be­cause the few poli­cies he’s de­tailed have been the worst kind of Teabil­ly non­sense.

You’re vot­ing for a dem­a­gogue and a ter­ri­fy­ing one. And you don’t get to call it any­thing else but the tox­ic na­tivist fas­cism that it is.

Own it. This is your can­di­date and this is what you’re sup­port­ing.
This is your chance to be bet­ter than this.
 
 

—ja­son malm­berg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2016 Ja­son Malm­berg.

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