My son writes down funny things I say
so I thought it would be funny to compile a list
at the end of the semester
of flomm founder Steve Mehallo’s
graphic design history course.
He has us take notes and everything is ‘testable.’
And he does a lot of improv.
Highlights:
The King sent out tweets that at the time involved sending out real birds.
Ben Franklin had all kinds of shit he pulled.
George Washington had a huge ego. He also had a pimply face and a big butt. History is fun.
They start to import Baskerville by the ton – because it’s made of metal.
I’m a friend of Baskerville, he’s a friend of John Wayne …
In Italy. We’re in the boot. Just picture sitting in the boot for a while. In the boot eating cheese.
Rome is ruled by turnips who call themselves emperor.
The Arts and Crafts Movement was co-opted by people in minivans. Stay at home moms who go to sports games and drives minivans.
William Morris wants furniture, so he goes to Target, which didn’t exist, but it was more like a Robin Hood thing.
Rudolph Koch – He was a guy who kind of sucked at stuff. Then he picked up a pen.
Goudy was another loser. Pen.
People said it’s 1900, it’s time to get weird.
Don’t tell anyone but when you get older you find you really don’t know anything.
Maxfield Parish … he invented Elvis in 1920.
AUGHHH, teachers who do the ‘sing song voice.’ Nothing going to happen here.
I have never done a Trump joke before and I won’t start now.
San Francisco Chronicle: Your design is shit.
Double amputee Kelly-anne …
Frank Lloyd Wright shows up and he starts doing this shit.
“The Four” have an Instagram … before anyone else … Ever.
In Austria, the kids say I want new art and the old people say, “get off my porch!”
Imagine you’re hanging out with the dadaists … they’re hanging from the ceiling and you don’t know why.
You, the girl on the sofa, and you over there – we’re gonna rule the country and it’s going to go goodly.
If you have floaters on your eyes you’ll notice they look like the stars that are out there.
There was an explosion in Great Britain and Dr. Who had to show up and save everyone because of these two.
This is the Womb Chair that’s like being inside a pregnant woman and they bring you a feeding tube and everything.
In Sacramento?
Two sections of Mehallo’s artnewmedia 305 are scheduled for Fall 2017.
—rose fante
Flommist Rose Fante is a wanderer, “yeah a wanderer, I roam around around around around around …” Copyright © 2017 Rose Fante.
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