russian driver with connecticut plates

so I am walk­ing home from cor­ner store with smokes and my ice tea

and I get to Auburn and Ninth there is a Volk­swa­gen Pas­sat with the driver’s side front wheel half cocked off the axle and the tire is peeled away

a lit­tle Mex­i­can gen­tle­men runs across the street to check on dri­ver

there is a young Russ­ian dude in pas­sen­ger seat

Mex­i­can dude knocks on win­dow the pas­sen­ger gets out

he looks a lit­tle out of it

ei­ther shook up by ac­ci­dent or one too many bev­er­ages

pas­sen­ger steps out and walks around to driver’s side try to get in and start the ve­hi­cle

as­sum­ing he is about to leave

com­plete­ly for­get­ting about his front wheel

Mex­i­can dude splits

pas­sen­ger goes back to pas­sen­ger side grabs a plas­tic bag full of shit and starts walk­ing away

I de­cide to call 911

hey you got a ve­hi­cle here at Auburn and Ninth

home­boy just took off

ok we will get some­one out there

mean­while, while I am on the phone

the pas­sen­ger comes back with no plas­tic bag

and again tries to get back in the ve­hi­cle to try and take off

again for­get­ting about his front wheel

911 op­er­a­tor asks for a de­scrip­tion; since dude is right in front of me I give his de­scrip­tion

yup yup he is about 5’8, bur­gundy shirt, Levi’s, he looks Russ­ian

dude takes off again

I sit and wait, mean­while I’m di­rect­ing traf­fic

20 min­utes lat­er Po­lice De­part­ment shows up

they roll up as­sume it’s my car

nope nope not me

I tell them the sto­ry

they don’t care about plas­tic bag or that home­boy took off

fi­nal­ly both PD take off to search for home­boy

leav­ing me to re­sume traf­fic duty

10 min­utes more go by, a third PD shows up asks for ID

nope nope nope not me

mean­while, one of the first two of­fi­cers on the scene re­turns

said they got him, they are do­ing a so­bri­ety test on him now

asks for my ID again

yup yup sure here you go

asks me if I saw him dri­ving, nope only saw him in pas­sen­ger side but I did see he had the keys and jumped into driver’s side to dri­ve off two times but didn’t see if he had been dri­ving at time of ac­ci­dent

told them again about plas­tic bag full of shit he car­ried off

that didn’t seem to con­cern them

ok seems like it would be ev­i­dence to me but what do I know

any­ways one of­fi­cer re­turns my ID and asks if the num­ber I called 911 from is a good num­ber to reach me

yup yup sure

ok have a nice day

walked home to file my re­port

—bri­an-an­tho­ny

Flom­mist Bri­an-An­tho­ny is a for­mer artist, crafts­man and de­sign­er turned part time law stu­dent via YouTube and Google, works at a print shop, full time fa­ther, all around Good Samar­i­tan, en­joys a fine sati­va, read­ing and Ari­zona Green Tea. Copy­right © 2015 Bri­an-An­tho­ny. All rights re­served. 

PLEASE   SUPPORT   FLOMM
TIPS  +  DONATIONS  DISCREETLY  ACCEPTED

FLOMM
promotes learning  +  education worldwide
drawing attention to works by nü  +  upcoming artists,
designers, writers, musicians  +  MOR

OUR INVOLVEMENT
– however –
is mostly paid for out of pocket or in trade

IF YOU ENJOY
wat  FLOMM  is doing here, please consider


1.   LEAVE US A TIP  :
use our tip jar whenever the mood hits



2.   BUY OUR SWAG  :
our approach is semi-green —
                all our  FLOMMHAUS  merch is made to order



3.   HELP US OUT  :
use our hashtags  #flomm  #flommus  #whereisflomm  #nüflommart  #flommist
when posting on ur socials —
or drop us a note and offer to help in some way
everything we do is on a volunteer basis —
             when we say  YOU CAN BE A FLOMMIST TOO  this is wat we mean

THANK YOU
your support helps our continued efforts
to create content across numerous platforms

clic 「 HIER   」 to return to the DER TUNG front page