#metoo

My sis­ter said some re­al­ly im­por­tant stuff in one of her #MeToo posts and I want­ed to share a few:

·  This can and does hap­pen to men, of­ten when they are boys and pow­er­less … it is of­ten hard­er due to gen­der ex­pec­ta­tions for men and boys to dis­close. While women are shamed with the idea that they were ‘ask­ing for it,’ men are of­ten shamed into si­lence by the idea that ‘they should have been able to pro­tect them­selves from it.’ Ick.

·  Rape and abuse are about pow­er, while it has a sex­u­al el­e­ment it is of­ten about peo­ple ‘get­ting off’ on the feel­ing of hurt­ing oth­er people. 

·  Sex­u­al preda­tors in stud­ies have eighty+ vic­tims be­fore they are ar­rest­ed, si­lence al­lows abuse to con­tin­ue and preda­tors are good at cre­at­ing fear and shame. Just be­cause this has hap­pened to a lot of peo­ple does not mean that there are just as many preda­tors. It’s okay and healthy to trust peo­ple. Most of us are good.

·  Of­ten, vic­tims as­sume an ‘over­ly sex­u­al­ized per­sona’ in re­sponse to their trau­ma. At first, this is about re­claim­ing their pow­er. Lat­er, it makes it hard­er for them to dis­close as they have tried so hard to project their in­dif­fer­ence. Please don’t slut-shame, peo­ple are con­vo­lut­ed and their trau­ma of­ten plays out in un­ex­pect­ed ways.

·  Sex­u­al abuse has a lot of shades of grey. Some­times, there is a lack of com­mu­ni­ca­tion that leads to an icky feel­ing re­gard­ing sex and con­sent. While women need to pro­tect them­selves, men need to pro­tect them­selves too. Make sure that a clear yes has been re­ceived. Talk to your sons.

·  Ther­a­py is good.

 
 

—mel­ony ppenosyne

Flom­mist Mel­ony Ppenosyne is a writer and weird artist type. In the last year alone, she’s trav­eled to Vir­ginia as a com­pet­ing poet, co-writ­ten a play on men­tal ill­ness that is present­ly be­ing pro­duced, and craft­ed a pub­lished es­say check­ing the priv­i­lege and scope of art gal­leries. Copy­right © 2016 Mel­ony Ppenosyne. Im­age source.

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