Sometimes this still bothers me because I always feel different. I always feel like an outcast.
But I’m extremely lucky that I was found by a family that would truly take care of me.
And from that family I got two amazing parents and two siblings.
I am so lucky.
And yet … I’ve still had invasive thoughts.
“Am I good enough?”
“Do they really love me or is it more of an obligation?”
I don’t believe that anymore. But when I was younger I did.
I know the family I’m in now is the one that was destined for me.
And I could never be more grateful for everything they’ve done.
I could never ask for anything more.
Yet still … I find myself wondering about my birth mom. Wondering if she’d have been more honest.
She lied to me about my birth dad. Said he abandoned her, and me.
When in reality, he just wanted a DNA test because they hadn’t been together in several months. Sounds like it was either a short fling or even just a one night stand.
I don’t know.
All I know is that she should have told me who he was. She should have at least given my parents a number to call.
I spent almost 30 years of my life thinking that my own birth dad wanted nothing to do with me.
If I was in a public place, I’d see older men with dark hair, around the right age and I wound wonder, is that my birth dad?
I’d wonder if we’d ever crossed paths and neither of us would know about it.
Anyway, I guess I’m rambling.
All I can say is, thank God for 23andme and thank God that I finally did meet my birth dad. He is amazing and he actually loves me.
And I also met my amazing grandma who I never would have known if it wasn’t for a silly DNA test.
We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.
—kaitlynjane
Flommist KAiTLYNjane has been drawing and writing stories ever since she knew how to scribble on a piece of paper, or her sister’s forehead when she was just two weeks old. Copyright © 2024 KAiTLYNjane.
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