dada star wars spoilers

‘I liked the part where Luke ate all the french fries, they got stuck in his beard and every­one thought the french fries WERE his beard.’ —steve mehal­lo

And when he took that gi­ant red pota­to fry and sliced it open to put Chewie in­side so he could stay warm, I was just like, you know?

And when the princess didn’t get to be a queen be­cause the big frag­ment of Alder­aan they found to col­o­nize did­n’t have enough oil to fill a sin­gle deep fry­er I was so, like, y’know?

And when that kid had that big lightsaber thing that lost pow­er be­cause those yams need­ed waaaay more pow­er be­cause their glu­cose was re­tain­ing too much mois­ture for bulk fry­ing I was just, right?

And there was that one sort of overt prod­uct place­ment mo­ment, when the star de­stroy­er tore through the enor­mous bag of Jamie Vardy Crisps, un­leash­ing them like fresh gold­en slices of pota­to as­ter­oids – I was to­tal­ly, like, y’know?

One of the most grip­ping bits was when the bat­tle was rag­ing – the third bat­tle, un­der­wa­ter in the enor­mous sphere on the desert where the dry lake had cap­tured the sen­ate trade em­po­ri­um rep­re­sen­ta­tives and was hold­ing them un­til the trees were re­freshed with that an­cient ice­flow – you know what I mean – and the ship got hit by the enor­mous thorn – or was it a toe­nail? But any­way, C3PO has to hand car­ry the cer­e­mo­ni­al batch of pota­to sal­ad they were about to deep-fry into the al­ter­nate gal­ley Luke set up in the es­cape pod – and then R2 ac­ci­den­tal­ly launched it into space! Un­der­wa­ter, y’know? And it hit the wind­shield of Darth Vader’s ship and caused him to crash through the con­tain­er and all the wa­ter went all over the plan­et – I was just like so, I couldn’t even I was, and they were, and, it was just you know. Wow.

—scott olling

Flom­mist Scott Olling is ex­plor­ing blue chirpy. Copy­right © 2015 Scott Olling. Im­ages: Pan­els from Hisao Tamaki’s 1997 Star Wars man­ga adap­ta­tion, west­ern trans­lat­ed edi­tions, with let­ter­ing by Tom Orze­chows­ki. Plus, the flomm dadapotato(e).

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

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