wat’s sexy

Me:
Lorde’s new al­bum is phe­nom­e­nal

Lorde:
I wrote your fa­vorite song at Lena Dunham’s cof­fee ta­ble

Me:
Every­thing I en­joy even­tu­al­ly brings me suf­fer­ing
 

Me:
I’ve nev­er un­der­stood why peo­ple find Brad Pitt to be the hottest man alive

Brad Pitt:
I have tat­toos

Me:
Wow, okay, that’s re­al­ly all it took for me
 

Okay,
so,
like,
Face­book com­ments, YouTube com­ments, no­to­ri­ous­ly shit­ty places.

I mean,
okay,
most of the in­ter­net, no­to­ri­ous­ly shit­ty place.

But,
you know
what web­site
I’ve no­ticed
has con­sis­tent­ly whole­some and en­cour­ag­ing com­ments?
 

Porn­hub.
 
 
 

I’m just sayin’.
 

—mel­ony ppenosyne

Flom­mist Mel­ony Ppenosyne is a writer and weird artist type. In the last year alone, she’s trav­eled to Vir­ginia as a com­pet­ing poet, co-writ­ten a play on men­tal ill­ness that is present­ly be­ing pro­duced, and craft­ed a pub­lished es­say check­ing the priv­i­lege and scope of art gal­leries. Copy­right © 2016 Mel­ony Ppenosyne.

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