the most claustrophobic way

My stress lev­els are so high to­day it feels like a med­i­cine ball bounc­ing in rapid suc­ces­sion against my chest.

Yes, I would have very much en­joyed spend­ing my time with Pa­tri­archy Ground Zero. But I am so slammed, I’ve had no time to watch it.

Be­tween the mired te­di­um of sched­uled rou­tine, the shit field of fu­til­i­ty that is work­ing and eat­ing too much food, and the se­ries of manda­to­ry en­gage­ments with an end­less stream of fuck­ing un­nec­es­sary ir­ri­tants this world keeps throw­ing at me I’m fuck­ing weight­ed in the most claus­tro­pho­bic way.

I feel like I’m ei­ther need to just get up, get into my car, and go the fuck away from all of this or I need the fol­low­ing things to hap­pen:

1.   
I need at least two days where I’m not forced talk to a mo­ron as a byprod­uct of the mech­a­nisms of dai­ly life. I se­ri­ous­ly need an el­e­vat­ed lev­el of dis­course and pro­pri­ety even for just a brief mo­ment.

2.   
I need free­dom from oblig­a­tion. I need un­in­ter­rupt­ed fuck­ing free­dom so I can in­dulge in the small joys that stave off stress at this lev­el like be­com­ing ful­ly en­grossed in an al­bum or mak­ing fuck­ing can­no­lis from scratch or sit­ting in the sun­shine with my cat.

3.   
I re­al­ly need a whole list of peo­ple to back up off my dick al­ready be­cause the con­stant ex­pec­ta­tions and de­mands are too fuck­ing much right now.

4.   
I need fuck­ing time. I need so much fuck­ing time. I need like 20 hours more a day.

5.   
I need a moment’s peace with­out hav­ing to arrange my whole life to fa­cil­i­tate a sec­ond of calm and still hav­ing it fail. I just need a le­git­i­mate fuck­ing break from all of it.

Also,
some things. Some very im­por­tant things:

6.   
100% this:
“If peace­ful protests in­con­ve­nience you, you haven’t been in­con­ve­nienced enough …” Read it.

‪#‎black­lives­mat­ter‬

7.   
Dis­co for­ev­er. Bowie for­ev­er. Prince for­ev­er.

8.   
Not wear­ing sneak­ers for years was maybe the dumb­est de­ci­sion of my life. Wel­come back friends.

9.   
Ken Zulu and I are prob­a­bly the great­est dance duo since Astaire/Rogers. #tech­ni­caljoy

10.   
I’ve found my soul­mate:

Life is a pa­rade of ab­sur­di­ties and pain, and then we die, alone, in filth. So, yes, lit­tle girl, I shall buy a box of Thin Mints.

— Wern­er Twert­zog (@WernerTwertzog) Jan­u­ary 30, 2016

11.   
Now time for sleeps.
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2016 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Pic­tured: Poster (cropped) for Rober­ta (1935).

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