survival

You know what?

I’m tired of get­ting stepped on, tossed aside and told I de­serve what life has tossed at me thus far. I’ll ad­mit it I haven’t been the best per­son in the world. I have my flaws. But at this point in my life I’ve seen more of my fam­i­ly and friends die than most my age.

I’ve been sub­ject­ed to both men­tal and phys­i­cal abuse from my par­ents and even ex-part­ners. I have de­pres­sion and anx­i­ety, mean­ing pan­ic at­tacks are a thing that hap­pen of­ten as well as points where I don’t want to keep run­ning on my course of life. I’ve tried sev­er­al times to end my own life over the years, many times a friend caught me be­fore it was too late.

But you know what? I’m over it all. I’m over all this bull­shit life has tossed at me thus far.

If it’s one thing I’ve learned is that I’m stronger than most – if not all – of the shit that I’m go­ing through. Knock me down once, I’ll stay down only to get back up and keep mov­ing for­ward twice as hard.

And you know what? I’m gonna start chang­ing not only my sur­round­ings, but also my­self.

So I’m tak­ing things day by day, pick­ing up lit­tle tricks to work on my anx­i­ety, eat­ing bet­ter, work­ing out, and even set­ting lit­tle re­minders for my­self for when I’m feel­ing like there’s no hope (the re­minders re­al­ly help, to be hon­est).

Got­ta ad­mit, so far there’s been pos­i­tive changes com­ing my way.

God knows this is long over­due.
 

 

—kristin valen­tine buech­ler

Flom­mist Kristin Valen­tine Buech­ler is an artist, trav­el­er, and pro­fes­sion­al dream­er. Copy­right © 2016 Kristin Valen­tine Buech­ler.

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

READ SOME  RELATED  DER TUNG  POSTS  :

rape is rape epi­logue a realm chang­ing peo­ple games sort­ing trump­som­nia: feel­ing ex­haust­ed and afraid rest­less voice haunt­ed by shad­ows