sofa talk queen at sbux

I stood be­hind Kellyanne Con­way at a Star­bucks in the woods, where we ex­changed light ver­bal jabs about 45 and Oba­ma and Rus­sia, then was forced to sit next to her in an al­most car­toon­ish­ly huge sofa, be­cause I had a sprained an­kle and couldn’t stand at the tall bar ta­bles that were left be­cause all the oth­er seats were tak­en. (She sat ap­pro­pri­ate­ly this time.)

And there, us­ing per­fect in­door voic­es, we con­tin­ued our cat­ty, un­pro­duc­tive Mean Girls ses­sion un­til my choco­late crois­sant was ready and I hob­bled over to get it, and that’s when she or her equal­ly cat­ty sis­ter with equal­ly un­healthy hair stole my wal­let.

Lat­er, the cat­ti­ness con­tin­ued over text, where she tried us­ing her usu­al bs to con­vince me I’d stolen my own wal­let. Nat­u­ral­ly, I did­n’t fall for it and asked the man­ag­er to show me se­cu­ri­ty video of the in­ci­dent.

I’m still wait­ing.

(I was, how­ev­er, hailed as the Sofa Talk Queen for hav­ing con­tin­ued the hushed ver­bal spar­ring ses­sion longer than any­one else at that Star­bucks, as this is some­thing Kellyanne does of­ten with oth­er cus­tomers, so I guess that’s cool, even if the nick­name is stu­pid.)
 

Can’t a girl just get some sleep and have some nor­mal dreams, al­ready? FFS.
 
 

—kim­ber­ly a. morales

Flom­mist Kim­ber­ly A. Morales is a food and well­ness blog­ger, and pa­tron saint of cats. Copy­right © 2017 Kim­ber­ly A. Morales. Foto by mehal­lo, via CNN-ish.

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

READ SOME  RELATED  DER TUNG  POSTS  :

sort­ing just so far game over 2016 melanin civ­i­liza­tion­al are you watch­ing this? an in­va­sive, threat­en­ing oth­er fab­u­lous­flomm­ness kar­ma only due to ne­science