chunks of flommus
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#metoo

My sister said some really important stuff in one of her #MeToo posts and I wanted to share a few:

· This can and does happen to men, often when they are boys and powerless … it is often harder due to gender expectations for men and boys to disclose. While women are shamed with the idea that they were ‘asking for it,’ men are often shamed into silence by the idea that ‘they should have been able to protect themselves from it.’ Ick.

· Rape and abuse are about power, while it has a sexual element it is often about people ‘getting off’ on the feeling of hurting other people.

· Sexual predators in studies have eighty+ victims before they are arrested, silence allows abuse to continue and predators are good at creating fear and shame. Just because this has happened to a lot of people does not mean that there are just as many predators. It’s okay and healthy to trust people. Most of us are good.

· Often, victims assume an ‘overly sexualized persona’ in response to their trauma. At first, this is about reclaiming their power. Later, it makes it harder for them to disclose as they have tried so hard to project their indifference. Please don’t slut-shame, people are convoluted and their trauma often plays out in unexpected ways.

· Sexual abuse has a lot of shades of grey. Sometimes, there is a lack of communication that leads to an icky feeling regarding sex and consent. While women need to protect themselves, men need to protect themselves too. Make sure that a clear yes has been received. Talk to your sons.

· Therapy is good.

—melony ppenosyne

Flommist Melony Ppenosyne is a writer and weird artist type. In the last year alone, she’s traveled to Virginia as a competing poet, co-written a play on mental illness that is presently being produced, and crafted a published essay checking the privilege and scope of art galleries. Copyright © 2016 Melony Ppenosyne. Image source.