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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


  chunks of flommus 

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more adventures in mansplaining

 

* SCENE *

At thrift store, buys dress­er, dude meets me at load­ing zone.

 

Dude:
This won’t fit in your car.

Me:
I think it will, let’s try and if not I’ll just come back, no big deal.

Dude:
It won’t fit.

Me:
Well I’m go­ing to try so if you want to go back in I’ll just do it.

Dude:
You can’t lift this alone.
I’m telling you SWEET­HEART (*my ul­ti­mate Fem­i­nist trig­ger word*) you won’t get it in.

Me:
WELL I’m go­ing to try.

 

* cue TETRIS theme *

 

Dude:
I told you it won’t fit.

Me:
<glares, mag­i­cal­ly jim­mies dress­er in with sheer force of Fem­i­nist will, all while main­tain­ing eye con­tact with Dude>

Dude:
Well, where you gonna put the draw­ers?

Me:
Look, you can go in­side dude, your at­ti­tude isn’t very help­ful. Just let me do my thing, I’m fine.

 
 

Me:
TOLD YOU.

Dude:

 
 

* END SCENE *

 

Thank God the damn dress­er fit or that whole scene would have been hu­mil­i­at­ing.

I’ll tell you noth­ing makes me bet­ter at shit than a dude telling me I can’t. I’m go­ing to be worth­less when we fi­nal­ly top­ple the Pa­tri­archy.
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2016 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Foto by mehal­lo.

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Der Tung
Posted
Sun 15 May 2016

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