june 2016, so far

1.   Pro Tip: If you are go­ing door to door to spread the gospel of your weird off­shoot faith, bring an adorable child be­cause then I can’t be mean to you.

2.   I can’t be­lieve I’m go­ing to say this. There are TOO many totchos.

3.   We ran out of wet food this morn­ing so my cat ob­vi­ous­ly spent two hours STARV­ING TO DEATH AND WE ARE ALL LUCKY HE IS ALIVE AND HE’S STILL SO WEAK BUT BE­ING BRAVE FOR EVERY­ONE.

4.   That mo­ment when you try to get your hair to work with the hu­mid­i­ty to only make it much worse but then re­mem­ber you’re punk rock enough that you re­al­ly don’t fuck­ing care.

5.   Here’s a fa­vorite thing: When girls with fake tits are, like, “feel them, they feel so real.”

6.   Any­one want to ex­plain to me this Kiwi busi­ness and why I’ve got­ten, like, 500 join re­quests late­ly. Do I re­al­ly need this thing?

7.   Hey, want to ac­tu­al­ly care about west­ern low­land go­ril­las? How about stop eat­ing shit with palm oil in­stead of shar­ing memes.

8.   Since every­one wants to have an opin­ion be­fore read­ing shit, let’s take a minute here and re­mind our­selves that this week’s fil­i­buster was for two bills:

         a.   HR 1076 :  No guns for ter­ror­ist sus­pects.

         b.   HR 1217 :  No guns for peo­ple with shit back­grounds like crazy wife beat­ers who’ve been on the no fly list twice.

This is not a fight for some ab­stract no­tion of gun con­trol or to ban all guns, but for two eas­i­ly agree­able, in­cred­i­bly rea­son­able reg­u­la­tions.

9.   Re­gard­less of who wins in No­vem­ber, Trump’s new­ly em­pow­ered sup­port­ers aren’t go­ing any­where. We bet­ter have a work­able plan ready to bring them into the san­i­ty fold.

and

10.   You know, so far, JUNE 2016 has been for the trash­can:

         a.   A judge con­firmed that the feel­ings of a rich white male are more im­por­tant than the safe­ty of women.

         b.   A hate filled lu­natic at the crux of tox­ic mas­culin­i­ty and re­li­gious fer­vor de­stroyed the sanc­ti­ty of the safe space of a tar­get­ed group with a copy­cat on the oth­er side of the coun­try.

         c.   An­oth­er in a se­ries of ter­ror­ist at­tacks as a prod­uct of end­less cul­tur­al clash­es and re­source strain in a ever-shrink­ing world in Dam­as­cus.
         … dit­to Shang­hai
         … dit­to Tel Aviv
         … dit­to Is­tan­bul
         … dit­to at­tacks I haven’t read about.

         d.   Bernie.

All this can make us all want to dis­en­gage, but sad­ly we can’t. We have to stay awake, have to keep go­ing, look for the helpers, find the good, stay strong, work for change. Hard­er some­times, but we don’t have a choice.
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2016 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Top im­age: Harambe.

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