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june 2016, so far

1.   Pro Tip: If you are going door to door to spread the gospel of your weird offshoot faith, bring an adorable child because then I can’t be mean to you.

2.   I can’t believe I’m going to say this. There are TOO many totchos.

3.   We ran out of wet food this morning so my cat obviously spent two hours STARVING TO DEATH AND WE ARE ALL LUCKY HE IS ALIVE AND HE’S STILL SO WEAK BUT BEING BRAVE FOR EVERYONE.

4.   That moment when you try to get your hair to work with the humidity to only make it much worse but then remember you’re punk rock enough that you really don’t fucking care.

5.   Here’s a favorite thing: When girls with fake tits are, like, “feel them, they feel so real.”

6.   Anyone want to explain to me this Kiwi business and why I’ve gotten, like, 500 join requests lately. Do I really need this thing?

7.   Hey, want to actually care about western lowland gorillas? How about stop eating shit with palm oil instead of sharing memes.

8.   Since everyone wants to have an opinion before reading shit, let’s take a minute here and remind ourselves that this week’s filibuster was for two bills:

         a.   HR 1076 :  No guns for terrorist suspects.

         b.   HR 1217 :  No guns for people with shit backgrounds like crazy wife beaters who’ve been on the no fly list twice.

This is not a fight for some abstract notion of gun control or to ban all guns, but for two easily agreeable, incredibly reasonable regulations.

9.   Regardless of who wins in November, Trump’s newly empowered supporters aren’t going anywhere. We better have a workable plan ready to bring them into the sanity fold.


10.   You know, so far, JUNE 2016 has been for the trashcan:

         a.   A judge confirmed that the feelings of a rich white male are more important than the safety of women.

         b.   A hate filled lunatic at the crux of toxic masculinity and religious fervor destroyed the sanctity of the safe space of a targeted group with a copycat on the other side of the country.

         c.   Another in a series of terrorist attacks as a product of endless cultural clashes and resource strain in a ever-shrinking world in Damascus.
         … ditto Shanghai
         … ditto Tel Aviv
         … ditto Istanbul
         … ditto attacks I haven’t read about.

         d.   Bernie.

All this can make us all want to disengage, but sadly we can’t. We have to stay awake, have to keep going, look for the helpers, find the good, stay strong, work for change. Harder sometimes, but we don’t have a choice.

—natalie michelle

Flommist Natalie Michelle doesn’t have a bio. She just rants. Copyright © 2016 Natalie Michelle. Top image: Harambe.

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Der Tung
Sat 18 Jun 2016

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