ignite

If I see one more lib­er­al hand­wring­ing es­say about the no­ble fuck­ing mo­rons of Bum­ble­fuck Coun­ty and why they be­lieve lit­er­al­ly the stu­pid­est and most eas­i­ly de­bunked bull­shit ru­mors but that’s hon­or­able be­cause they are old and white and had every god damn priv­i­lege hand­ed to them dur­ing the post-War boom econ­o­my so they had no choice but to screw every­one that came af­ter them and now they feel left out of the na­tion­al con­ver­sa­tion be­cause we don’t ar­rest gay peo­ple for sodomy any more and there’s all these brown peo­ple around now that get to vote and have jobs too and that’s an af­front to God I guess be­cause every one of them is a ter­ror­ist look­ing to crash a plane into the Crack­er Bar­rel off Route 9 I may well fuck­ing ig­nite.

—ja­son malm­berg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2016 Ja­son Malm­berg. Pic­tured: David Spade in Joe Dirt (2001).

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

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